a missionary homecoming

here it is. six am in the morning.

woke up. by myself for the first time in a year and a half.

no sister missionary across my room reminding me to pray or to work out or anything of the sorts.

today was special.

today was the day i returned home.

today was the first time physically seeing my family. 

physically giving them a big hug.

physically feeling them next to me.

for the first time in eighteen months.

so.

i am in the airport all by myself. 

i'm completely lost. but it's okay. i ended up finding my way.

the long awaited flight was over and i was (actually stalling) because i was scared lol. 

so i went to the bathroom and tried not to freak out.

and as i inched towards the escalators and peered over the side i saw... wait for it.

TWO DINOSAURS WAITING AT THE BOTTOM!

i thought my family was playing a prank on me.

i thought my brother had dressed up like a dinosaur with his fiancé and that was how they were going to greet me.

which made me laugh and kind of roll my eyes a little and be kind of scared to see what they were going to do to me... but then i looked down the escalators. 

and saw my little niece navi running up to me. 

and i saw my mom right behind her.

and i couldn't stop smiling.

(navi ended up getting the first hug.)

but oh my goodness a hug from your mom is the best thing ever.

especially after a long time of no hugs from her!!!

(so everyone who's reading this, go hug your mom if you can. and whenever you can. because while i was away sometimes all i wanted was a hug from my mom.)

but the tears weren't really flowing yet...

until my little brother levi hugged me and said, "welcome home best friend."

then we were all crying.

my grandmas had surprised me too!

one came all the way from canada to see me.

first time since 2012 that she had been in the states!!!

can we say BEST SURPRISE EVER???

i love having these two beautiful women in my life. 

while i was gone, my family got the "marco polo" app and had to document this monumental moment so we had to send a little message to the rest of the fam. 

i was so happy to have my sister and her family, my brother and his fiancé, and some of my best friends there waiting for me.

a mission is a completely different experience and journey.

there are a lot of specific rules that only apply to missionaries while you are out serving. 

and one of those for the majority of my mission was to only send two emails to your friends and family on monday during your "preparation day." which was typically on mondays.

and you could only video chat your family for 40 mins on mothers day and christmas.

i was able to receive letters and packages in the mail but could only open them at certain times of the day and could only send/reply to them on mondays as well. 

so we had quite a limited window space of talk time during the past eighteen months.

a lot of people wonder "why is that!?"

it sounds a little outrageous right???

but as a missionary it was very important to remain focused during the day/week and to stay in a missionary mindset. sometimes family can be a huge distraction. (sad, but true!)

luckily, about 3 weeks before i left, there was a policy change and we were then able to facetime, text, and video chat our family during our preparation day. 

and that was THE BEST THING EVER.

haha i wish it would've happened sooner in my mission!!

but i'm grateful i was also able to spend that 17 months the other way as well.

(even though i definitely prefer the video chatting a lot lot better!!!) 

seeing my family again was such a wonderful day.

i kind of felt like i was in the twilight zone...

i literally left one life behind in florida and came back to this life i kind of remembered but also... one that had changed so much!!!

i left my mission family and friends and came back to my family family and friends that i had before. 

so now i have these two worlds. and i'm just doing my best trying to figure out how they now mesh together in some way.

i'm so SOOOOOOO grateful for the opportunity i had to serve a mission for the church of jesus christ of latter day saints.

i learned SO much.

way more than i ever thought i could or would. 

i am so grateful for all of the people i met. they changed my life. they made me a better person. they helped me overcome my fears. they helped me come to know my savior more. 

i am so grateful for my savior, jesus christ.

for the life that he has given me.

he has given me a life that is way better than the one i would have chosen for myself.

and i'm grateful i listened to the spirit that one day back in 2016 which told me to serve a mission.

because i can't imagine my life without it now!!!

i'm happy to be home.

xoxo // kenzie kaye 

// churchofjesuschrist.org //